not knowing is most intimate
In uncertain times, having an answer for every question seems uniquely gratifying and providing a sense of safety and security. While it sounds like a great idea, it has two small problems: (1) it’s not possible (let’s disregard this point for a moment) and (2) it does not come from the heart.
All “W” (why, where, what, warum, wozu) questions are rooted in the one more or less ultimate question “what is life?”. How does feel when you don’t know, when you don’t need to know?
Rilke wrote 1898: “Du musst das Leben nicht verstehen, dann wird es werden wie ein Fest”
(You need not understand life, and it will turn into a celebration / feast
Most attempts to understand life lead to nowhere, especially they don’t help us understanding anything. Shunryu Suzuki, the Zen teacher who brought Zen practice to California was asked “Why is there so much suffering?” — “No reason” he responded. We can resolve so many issues and often also remedy suffering. And we can do this without asking for a reason.
Look at this brief exchange between two guys a few hundred years ago:
Jizô asked Hôgen, "Where are you going, senior monk?"
Hôgen said, "I am on pilgrimage, following the wind."
Jizô said, "What are you on pilgrimage for?"
Hôgen said, "I don't know."
Jizô said, "Not knowing is most intimate."
Hôgen suddenly attained great enlightenment.
Source: Book of Equanimity, (Shôyôroku) Case #20
“As soon as we know something, it becomes separate. It becomes a piece of knowledge or understanding that we can manipulate. That doesn't mean it's not useful,- but it's just not very intimate. […] Not knowing is most intimate, yet we've developed all kinds of patterns and habits that prevent us from being intimate with ourselves and with others. It's so hard to see them because they're in our blind spots. We just do these things without even thinking or reflecting on them. They are so much our habitual way of behaving that we don't even recognize them. We have certain twisted patterns of behavior, but we don't see them, because we're too comfortable with them. In order to be free of them, we have to begin to see them, to cultivate awareness that transcends thoughts and knowledge. To expand the context of your life, you must experience your own discomfort and misery. Just notice how protective you are of whatever it is you think you are. By honoring this "not knowing" instead of fighting it, we can discover new possibilities in the midst of our problems. When we think we know all the answers, we feel safe. But life is not safe. We're all going to die. Life is a journey into the unknown.” Gerry Shishin Wick: The Book of Equanimity. Boston: Wisdom, 2005. p. 64. Scanned by the Internet Archive or in print.
The Book of Serenity – or Book of Equanimity – is a collection of 100 koans (Zen stories you cannot logically resolve) written in the early 12th century; they are way more relevant than yesterday’s new blog. Here’s some Wikipedia and here’s an online version of the Book of Equanimity.
You can get an English translation of the Book of Serenity at Shambala or on Amazon.
My Dharma Friend and Zen Beginner A.W. wrote an extensive comment on Intimacy as Zen Lingo.
Now - going skin-deep is this really intimate? preferably on your back where you can't see it? Check the Tattoo templates - the images are copyright protected and locked, so I cannot promote the work of Master Takase here - you need to go to their website to see the tattoo on the back of the girl. But then, not knowing ... you get the idea
Marc Lesser provides insights into this Koan:
“With not knowing, I am open, ready, willing to learn, to be surprised. I can see and hear others beyond my own ideas. Though my experience and knowledge are important, they can get in the way. When I let go of my own ideas, I can be present, humble. When I am humble, I am not afraid. I can enter this moment, engaged, moved, open – intimate.”
Read the complete text
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An interesting discussion of Koans and this case by Melissa Myozen Blacker: Koans: One with the Question:
The truth within the koan “is revealed only when our whole being becomes the koan.”
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A different translation is “Jizô said, “Not knowing – that’s it.”
For many reasons, I prefer “most intimate”, not the least because it keeps the question open rather than concluding with a “that’s it”.
